Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Walter’s Third Day in Kerrville


          After I’ve brushed off the last of the Coarsegold burrs I take Walter for a walk. He’s a town dog now, must be respectable and wait while I remove his poop from the neighbor’s gravel yard.

          This morning he shivered afraid of trucks sliding to work down
Riverhill Drive
. I didn’t realize Riverhill connects Bandera & Medina Highways so now I’ll stick to traipsing over vacant lots and sleepy cul-de-sacs where it looks like no one lives.

          Tonight I kiss John goodbye at the door like a real suburban housewife. He’s off to San Antonio, going back to Coarsegold to finish up our move.

          The white Marquis limo pulls silently away as Walter and I begin our walk. Only one noisy, unidentifiable bird squawks at us.

          Heading back two neighbors are leaving. It’s recently widowed Bobby and his daughter Jennifer. Walter lunges toward them and they let him lick their fingers - his weathered, her French nailed.

          “I worked in obedience training eighteen years,” Bobby says, “they called me The Dog Whisperer”.

          “Long before the one on TV,” Jennifer finishes and sure enough within seconds Bobby has the leash and Walter is sitting, basking in the attention.

          “We’re dog people” Jennifer says. “My babies are inside.”

          We chat for several minutes. Behind us in a grove of trees the herd of local deer graze. They’re so much smaller and more dainty than our California Mule Deer.  Walter doesn’t give them a second look.

          Walking the last four houses back home Walter remains calm, head high and I praise him, tell him what a good dog he’s been today,  his third day in Texas.

Settling In

The last three days I've been running on adrenaline and wonder if today will be my crash day.  No wait. I have to take John to San Antonio today to she can return to California for the rest of our things.

We left off in Van Horn. John got up before dawn and I followed about an hour later. The drive was gorgeous but of course I was driving so could no take pictures.  I stopped at three rest stops and to get a bite to eat so that when I pulled off the freeway John was right in front of me!  My heart swelled to see that big old U-Haul and the Caddie, dull but still elegant, on the trailer behind.

The house looks like it did in the photo. It's the smallest on the block. And this block has some of the smaller houses of the development. Up the hill are gorgeous big mansions with views of the golf course and hills.  It appears that many of the homes are vacant, I see no life. John says there're vacation homes for people from Dallas or Houston.

So. We pull up, go in to pee, get the pets settled land the moving helpers arrive. The plan is to bring in beds, table, chairs etc. and finish the rest tomorrow. I still do not venture a peak into the U-Haul. I'm afraid to. Turns out that John did excellent packing. There was not one inch of free space. It was as if a giant vacuum sucked all our possessions into it and compressed. The result was that nothing was broken (except a knob off the washing machine). But as the guys unloaded - bringing first a mattress, then a chair, then bedding - I understood that things would not be in any sort of order.

After two hours we had my box springs and mattress but no sheets; the footboard but not the headboard or sides of the bed. We had no glasses or cups, plates or untensils.  No lamps.  We could not even offer the workers a drink of water!

Here's the thing about this neighborhood. It looks like a movie set - Stepford Wives, or the Truman Show. No one parks on the street, or even in their driveways. Cars are in garages. Lawns are mowed. Plants are trimmed. Many of the yards are white rock with drought tolerant plants.  One yard down the block is ALL white rock, with a gnome like creature sitting on a bench.  The house immediately next to us is uninhabited. Must be out of towners?  Or people on vacation.  I met a neighbor down the street, late seventies, I'd guess, who just returned from a 32 day trip to China, Mongolia, Cambodia. And this, after being home only two days from a road trip to California!  "So you're crazy?" I asked.

The fellow across the street, Hilton Ferris, is a retired school superintendent. He said he was happy to see us moving in. The previous tenants had "kids" who parked cars all over the street.

The tenants, or the landlord, patched holes in the walls but did not repaint. The house is actually more my size that our Coarsegold home. I like the design because there are varied angles and it's wide open and bright. We can't see into anyone's windows.  The houses seemed to have been designed for privacy. I like the open lot next door which is thick with green grass.  It's wet with dew in the mornings.  Right now it says 60 degrees outside, but I was perfectly comfortable walking in a long sleeve tee shirt.

But back to Sunday night: John went out and got me a salad from McDonalds. But I could barely eat. I used a curtain for a sheet and went to bed but laid awake, my mind racing. The bedroom has white blinds that let in the moonlight.  Audrey thought this was just another hotel and cuddled up with me and Walter was disappointed that I made him sleep in the hall.

Monday we expected two more guys to come at 10 to finish the unloading. We went to Albertsons - a disappointment, the produced sucked and I'll try HEB next time which supposedly carries local produce. (Albertsons had moldy California strawberries.  We grabbed some breakfast and headed back to the house.

The guys were darling, athletic college students from San Antonio.  They brought in the rest of the furniture and stacked boxes in aisles in the garage.

Here's what John could not fit in the U-Haul: standing lamps, my recliner, my platform rocker, my printer, plants, the microwave, the big box with the print of Santa Monica Bay and other paintings . . . tools.

So here we are with only one old hammer, no screwdrivers or wrenches.  I have a simple tool set - a little hammer, screwdrivers, and it's in a wicker basket along with my lotion, nail polish, soap.  Do you think I can find it? I thought I remembered Marcus saying "Where to you want this?" and being glad it was found. But did I imagine this? Dream it? It's driving me crazy.

Sheets were found in an unmarked box containing two table lamps.  So on Tuesday, after the phone man came and set up our phones and internet and the Dish Network guy set up the satellite, I was able to make my bed. I hung all my clothes - some must become rags, I can't wear them here! - and put away a lot of the kitchen and did a load of laundry (which I hung on racks because the dryer needs an adapter), and got my bathroom pretty well set up. 

We bought a decent shower head and a wrench to install it and I took my first wonderful shower in soft water.  "It's river water" John said, not the rusty, manganese rich well water we've been used to that stained everything orange and left my skin feeling parched.  It dawned on me that more than the water was hard in Coarsegold - when trash day comes I can drag the can to the street.  I can drink water directly from the tap instead of having it delivered. I can walk to the curb to pick up my mail, instead of driving 2 miles.

I'm starting to understand why John wanted to "get back to civilization".

The other thing is this: there's a feeling in the air that I have not experienced before. People seem to be happy.

After leaving three unanswered calls for my mother, I get a call from Lauren that Alice is in the hospital with an infection in her leg. The air is taken out of me. I try the hospital three times and finally talk to her just after she's given a sedative. The doctors want to keep her there until Friday.

Worried sick is what I am. But there's nothing I can do from here.

More later . . .

Saturday, September 25, 2010

It's True - Everything IS Bigger in Texas!

I though of Izabel, driving through southern Arizona - seeing the yellow flowers lining the highway - same as the ones she enjoys in Fresno. Arizona is spectacular - rock formations, sky, cacti. I loved it!  New Mexico was more subdued in comparison. But Texas! Man oh man. I hated El Paso - a larger, more agressive LA. In my rearview mirror I saw a trucker in a blue trauck barreling down on the little cars in front of it. I gave him wide berth.  Suddenly my windshild was being pummeled - what was it? Bugs? Rocks? No - rain! Gigantic loud splats that woke up the cat.  I didn't like it either! Finally we got out of that crazy city into such wide open space I felt a wave of agoraphobia overcome me.   The speed limit rose to 80 - EIGHTY!  (70 for trucks and 65 for everyone "at night") and instuctions "left lane for passing only".   I don't like to go 80! My car whistles and starts to shake and I shake too. 

In the distance - and I mean DISTANCE, I don't think I've ever seen so far - were clouds that literally came out of the earth - like big white sea dragons. Bizarre.

I was discouraged to find our hotel was at Exit 138 - how far was that?  Then noticed that often numbers were skipped. Maybe I would get in before dark. Suddenly, flashing lights - border security. All trucks must stop. What about me in my little red car?

I slowed to 55 and eventually stopped.  A handsome light skinned black man asked, "Where you headed, ma'am?" 

"I'm moving from California to Kerrville" I told him.  Walter stood up and growled and started to bark at the German Shepherd sniffing the right side of the car.  I gave the border patrol office a frightened grimace. Would I be searched?

"Kerrville. . . " he said knowingy.  Was he thinking, that Kerrville was tolerant of Californians? 

Finally he waved me on.   I tried really hard to go 80 but my conscience - thinking of fuel efficiency - kept lifting my foot from the gas pedal.

Then bam! Sign says "Central Time" - and I lost two hours.

I found the hotel just as the sun was setting - a gorgeous cloudy sky - and when I got out of the car  fierce wind blew. I walked Walter back and forth but felt like we would both be blown away!  Too much wind!!

I hear John checking in. So will sign off. Must get up early tomorrow and head for our hew home.  Movers will be there at 4 to unpack beds - oh, yes,  turns out John could fit my mattress and box spring in the U-Haul but not the frame! Back to sleeping on the floor. . .he says' he'll bring it when he returns to CA to get the rest of our stuff.

Tzatziki in Tucson

Yesterday was the worst torture day. I was told there were two rest stops between Barstow & Needles and there were but BOTH were closed for upgrades.  Immediately after the second was an exit for a diner/gas station.  The first pump out of order.  Some women asked me how to get to Laughlin. I said I had no idea. I didn't even know where I was going!  I went inside and gave my debit card but the man wanted ID and I didn't feel like going back to the car so I just peed (all the women were furious about the rest stops being closed) and left.

Needles was depressing. I bought a taco at Taco Bell but the smell made me nauseus so I tossed it and drank a little iced tea. Neither Walter or Audrey would eat. Audrey seemed comatose in her cage. What if she just died of fright? (Horrible thought: I'll get a kitten!)

John and I spoke - he'd gotten up at 4:30 and was folloing behind me - by about 5 hours.  He advised that I "load up" on gas in Blythe. Blythe was a ghost town. Shop after shop closed. I couldn't even find a McDonalds but I saw an Albersons. No shade. 100 degrees. I dashed in and went to the deli. "Do you make sandwiches?" I asked. "There" the clerk pointed to pre-made sandwiches. Yuck. I bought a tuna croissant and got an iced latte at the Starbucks.  At a gas station I ate the tuna, tossed the croissant and inhaled the coffee.

Then ARIZONA! - where I should have gotten food and gas. Nice wide highways and 75 mph speed limit. I flew through the desert.  Taking the Phoenix Bypass, I thought John had said it was 3 miles to Gila Bend, but it was about 35. Then another 119 to Tucson.

Finally I arrived and instead of making many trips up to the room, I loaded the cart with everything, including my rocklike cat.  This time, though, she came out of the carrier and was curious. Jumped up onto the sink where I gave her food and water.  I took Walter for a pee-walk then returned to the room for my bathing suit.

AHHHH - I walked down into the empty, shady pool and completely surrendered to the water > floating > flying!  Revived, I went back the room and ordered food from a local restaurant. A minute after I stepped out of the shower my gyro and tzatziki sauce, Greek salad & eggplant sandwich arrived (there was  $15 minimum so I ordered enough for 2 meals).  Food never tasted so good!!

I talked to John and he said he'd be in after 11, so I hope to see him this morning. I saw the U-Haul and the Caddie in the parking lot and my heart swelled. My things!! All crammed in there. And my husband and Jane kitty sleeping in one of these rooms down the hall from me.  Audrey visited me in the night several times, purring & woke me by knocking my sunglasses on the floor; Walter woke me when he shook his head rattling his tags. But it was the best night's sleep I've had in months.  The cat has forgiven me. The dog likes sniffing new places and tomorrow night we'll be in Kerrville. I'll get so sleep in my own bed in my new home.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Bewildered in Barstow

Yesterday Mike arrived at 10 and he and John proceeded to load the rest of our furniture. I was sure it would not all fit, which angered John. He said I had no faith in him.  Our plan was to leave between 1-2.  By 1:00 we decided I'd head out and he would follow.  Audrey freaked when she got in the carrier, first mewing plaintively then clawing and screaming. Walter took everything in stride.  Audrey settled down after about an hour. I stopped in Bakersfield and Walter got to sniff and pee. 

I loved seeing the windmills and thought, even on your worst day there is someting wonderful to notice.

Got to Barstow about 6:30 and it took a half hour to unload - set up the litter box, etc.  Audrey at first would not come out of the carrier.  I finally pulled her out and she hid as far as she could under the sink. Would not even eat tuna. Found that she'd peeded in the carrier.

Just then John called. He was still in Coarsegold!

The plan is for him to get up early and drive all the way to Tucson. It will take me about 8 hours - him 14? I have no idea.

This a.m. took Walter to wild open desert next to the hotel to sniff and do his business. Audrey finally visited me in the night several times, curiously sniffing.  Hardly slept. The bank of air conditioners right outside my window.

Better eat and hit the road.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Last Day in Cali?

Advil PM didn't do it last night. Dog kept shaking his head, rattling his tags. Worried about how much still to do. Packed clothes this a.m. Now must get back to it!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

ACK! I'm not ready!

We picked up the U-Haul today - it's huge!  Plus the trailer that will pull the Caddie.   Julie came and helped me bubble wrap pictures; Mike & Doris were a tremendous help as well. Keith and his son worked like dyamos loading boxes, bookcases, more boxes.  Tomorrow everything else, except beds go. I'm not at all ready!  No time to grieve leaving "my mountain". Found out the cab of the U-Haul will not hold a dog and cat carrier, so Walter will ride with me in the backseat, Audrey in her carrier in front.  The trunk will have to hold everything else. So I must pack clothes now, toiletries, etc. and decide which clothes to wear while we travel.  Thank God DWTS is on. I can take breaks to flutter my eyelids with my hand on my heart when Rick Fox is on the screen.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Lovely Visit Now Back to Work

I had the most wonderful afternoon yesterday with Izabel in Fresno. She took me to a field of yellow flowers with a "creek" running by (I think it's really a canal) and meandering walking paths.  She's created a perfect life for herself and gives me hope that I'll adjust to a whole new community soon. 

I also had a long conversation with my sister and it was good to hear her laugh. She's been very supportive of our decision to move. But now it's back to packing.  I look around at lamps, office machines, kitchen appliances and am completely stumped as to what I'm supposed to do with them. John keeps saying "bubble wrap".  I'm doing my last loads of laundry and balancing the bank statement, small simple tasks that don't overwhelm me. 

Luckily Audrey has forgiven me. We played with the string a long time after breakfast and now she's napping in the sun on my recliner. Which windows at the new house will provide sun for her naps?  How will Walter adjust to being leashed?  Worries and fears thunk around in my brain like tennis shoes in a dryer. I have to banish them!  I can do this when I look to my left, straight through the door of my office into the living room and out the two big glass doors of the patio to the high Sierras.  Goodbye Sierras! But then the sun glints on the chrome of John's 68 Caddie and blinds me. 

At the end of today "Dancing with the Stars" awaits. I've wished, for years, to see Rick Fox on that show. He better not disappoint!  And Margaret Cho! I didn't like Louis van Amstel for along time because of the weird contortions he makes with his mouth. But my opinion of him changed when he was paired with Kelly Osborne. And then Niecy.  Now Margaret - all seem to have the same basic body shape . . .

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Cat is Mad

Audrey usually wakes me up at dawn but today I woke by myself and found her at the foot of the bed, ignorning me. I could not get her to cuddle.  She's reacting to the changes in the house - no fern to hide under, no rug under the dining room table to sharpen her claws.  Now she's sitting near me but not looking at me, the tip of her tail flicking her discontent.

I'm taking a break today, going to Fresno to visit Izabel. Scrabble, lunch.  When she first moved into her apartment building I found it depressing. Overheated. Stuffy.  Her two small rooms dark boxes. But in the last nine months it's been transformed into a magical world where I become transformed too.  The deep reds she uses to decorate resonate with me. I love to see how she's used the previous tenants plant hooks to hang Indian banners - I think I even gave her some darling little elephants. And of course the apartment if filled with cat incarnations.  I leave the modern world and enter the timeless space that feels and smells exotic and am greeted by my dramatic Polish friend, clanking with bracelets, excited to share with me her latest adventures in cyber-space.  Izabel reminds me of my mother's best friend, Jo Lathwood, who was an independent spirit, full of life, color and laughter. I can't wait to unpack Jo's paintings and hang them on the walls of our house in Kerrville. I'm so lucky to have had both of these wise older women in my life. Straightforward, outspoken, opinionated, funny and fun, curious, always learning.  When I was with Jo and when I'm with Izabel it's as if we're both young and old - girls and crones - timeless ageless spirits whirling through the world enjoying the ride.     

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Our Last Saturday in California

The phone rang at 7:30 just as I was going to take Walter out for his walk. My mother.  Still upset from yesterday.  Took the phone outside and listened for half an hour. Said we'd finish later.  John took down curtains in my office and bathroom. I washed them, hung them out on the line. Oh, how I'll miss hanging laundry up on the deck. I've looked forward to Saturdays when I do laundry. Ten months of the year I set up my two collapsable racks downstairs - outside in spring and fall, inside in summer so I add some cool humidity to the house.  When I pull the clothesline across the deck and secure it, I feel that I'm connecting with all the women throughout history who've done laundry.  I love the connection. I love seeing towels and clothes waving in the breeze.  Will I have a laundry line in Texas? Probably not in our rental house. But someday. Someday we'll own a house again and have a yard and privacy. For now, though, it's back to packing. I've left my diaries for last.  They were the first thing I grabbed when we had to evacuate for the Quartz Mountain fire in 2005.  I rely on them often to straighten out the timeline of my life which gets tangled and confused otherwise.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Packing Sucks

When I think the packing is almost done, I open a closet and find more stuff. Back in May, when we listed the house and I had to take down personal photos, I thought of how happy I'd be to open the boxes and find my treasures. I pretended I was putting away gifts to my future self.  Boxing up books, I started with the ones in the bedroom - all my Laker stuff, religious books, astrology, animals.  Then I moved into my office and the living room. Each box was snug with my favorite authors. If a small space remained, I tucked in a knick-knack and didn't mention it on the box. 

Now, after months of packing, my hands ache. I'm sick of tape that gets tangled on the roll.  Odd-shaped items that defy categorization.  I slip through the narrow passageways that are my home now that I boxed #186 today.  I've put post-it stars on most of the furniture.  Most of the walls are bare. My clothes are packed away in boxes and yet. . . and yet, there's still MORE to do.

Will we really be out of here in 6 days?  I can't believe all this stuff will fit into a U-Haul.

But more than the concern about inanimate objects is my worry over the dog and two cats. How will we manage a three day drive to Texas?

Thank Goodness it's Friday and I have the Wall Street Journal crossword to occupy me for an hour before I sleep. IF I sleep. Or will I sleep a few hours and then lie awake, savoring the mountain breeze coming in the window, the crickets like a thin lace over the utter stillness of our private mountain.  Will I be awake for the coyotes pre-dawn yelps?  Will there be coyotes in Texas?  What will my life be like?