Helpless Witness

Haven’t written my blog for a while because I thought, I can’t just complain!  But the truth is I’ve been down in the dumps. Mostly because of the weather – the worst drought in Texas in people’s lifetimes.  At first it was just annoying, continued dry heat day after day.  Then water restrictions began, watering lawns twice a week. Now, no sprinklers, period. Only hand watering.  I see my neighbors, when I walk Walter at dawn (the sun doesn’t come up till 7:15 this time of year), looking dejected as they stand with a hose trying to save their trees.  News of the famous Austin bats dying for lack of mosquitoes, ranchers having to sell off cattle, lakes and streams drying up killing thousands of fish  -the feeling of helplessness paralyzes me.  I look at photographs friends on Facebook have posted of Yosemite and imagine I am breathing in the cool mist from the falls.  But it doesn’t really help.

          Then there’s news that I have two friends who need heart surgery, another friend recuperating at the Mayo Clinic, and just last night news from my most vital, happy, upbeat friend that she too needs surgery this month!  Again, the feeling of helplessness, as if I’m in a straightjacket . . .

          Speaking of straightjackets, did you see the ridiculous outfit with sleeves like a red straightjacket on Project Runway last night?  I watch the show because I love to see what designers can come up with on short notice, with a weird variety of restrictions. But this year there are so many designers I don’t like - they’re mean and back-biting. I still want Laura, the blond, to win because she designs really pretty clothes that are original and well made.  Plus I adore Heidi Klum. She had a show all about kids once that was really fun and funny. She has four children and is really like a kid herself.

          Kids: I’m back to teaching – one hour a week of pure delight. First week: three children. This week: six! Plus a wonderful adult helper who loves words, language, and proper grammar.  It was great to commiserate with someone else distraught at the corrosion of our beautiful language.

          I’ve started Hill Country Poets – “for the creation and appreciation of poetry.” We meet on second Sundays at Unity Church of the Hills. I’ve put a notice in the paper and know three or four people who want to come. I wonder if the first meeting, September 11, will interfere with comemmoration ceremonies of that awful day ten years ago when Barbara called and said, “Turn on the TV!” and I stood, like millions of others, shocked and afraid.

          Now here we are a decade later, a decade older. Economy sucks. Weather sucks. Friends are sick. I give thanks for my blessings – health, family, friends, husband, pets, love of books, love of dancing.  Soon my Mondays and Tuesdays will be enhanced by Dancing With the Stars. I’ll lose myself in the music and the lights. I’ll cheer for my favorite pro dancers and come to admire “celebrities” I didn’t know before. I’ll waltz into bed remembering my years as a dancer in summer-stock musicals and be glad I’ve had an interesting, music and love filled life.