Too long since I wrote a poem, days flap by like pages of a book

one night two young men show up and go to work on my computer

like veterinarians about to put my beloved pet to sleep

my presence not welcome as they talk to each other in

words I don't understand, like they've swooped down from another planet

to perform surgery and I'm as embarrassed as if they'd seen me naked

and were repelled, not that they haven't seen this all before

another silly woman wanting to save her emails

documents that should have been deleted ages ago.

I pace the house, try to eat and watch TV but I keep trying to hear

what they're saying to each other. I want to rush in and tell them

to go home, leave everything as it was, and eventually I do, I tell them

I'll figure out the rest on my own.  Exhausted, I go to sleep dreading morning

and sure enough everything's different, I'm lost, disoriented, bravely

sniffling my tears as I navigate the maze of my life in words and numbers.

Unfortunately there is no more Microsoft Money, which for ten years

tracked every cent we've earned and spent. It's gone. Bye bye.

I go to Office Max and purchase Quicken, remembering that I used it

before, figuring it will do, but now I see it connects directly to my bank

sucks up the transactions and categorizes each purchase so

it appears we've spent our entire month's budget on beer.

Perhaps in John's perfect world. I spend several hours

good naturedly correcting the silly mistakes.

I press "save" and yet when I return three days later we're back to

the end of last month, why did all my work disappear?

I want to yell at someone so I yell at my husband who says,

"Welcome to my world" and the napping cat opens one eye, annoyed.

The world is full of danger and disorder. All I want is

for what's in my own, private, personal house to make sense.

Is that so much to ask?